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Create Love Heal is about learning, living and empowering yourself through natural living, removal of toxins and feeding your space through self discovery.


Create Love Heal

Learning To Be Me Workshop

A 6 week self-healing stepping stone designed to help you learn to be you; guilt free and confidently, to ensure you feel worthy of your potential in this life.

Learn how to identify, accept and heal your truest self so you can live a happy and empowered life.


My Journal - Relationship Values And How To Love Oneself....And How To Not.

Dear Diary,

For the last week I have been haunted by the throws of my past, particularly my past relationship.

I am thinking about it, dreaming about it and generally feeling unsettled by it.

It has progressed to the point of needing to discuss it with my ever understanding and wise husband. Bless him, he listens to my banter and constant revelations on a daily basis and is surprisingly unphased by my need to discuss the ghosts of my past relationship. It doesn’t get much better than him.

My thoughts keep taking me back to when I was 18 or 19yrs old, newly in a relationship and blissfully in ignorant love with the guy who I thought was the man of my dreams.

He was a gentle soul with a lot to prove. He really loved me and I truly loved him in the 8years we spent together. My memories serve me in an odd manner, I cannot remember the man of my life speaking to me at all. I only remember certain things, certain times and certain feelings, seemingly always giving.

I was young, I was innocent, I was ignorant. He was a little older yet just as ignorant.

My personality lends itself to keeping the peace, I don’t like to rock the boat unless I am truly passionate and at this time I was truly passionate about him and about us.

Growing up I had the idealistic vision of a true, heated romantic and passionate love, Romeo and Juliet style, where you would die for eachother without question. I wanted romance, I wanted undeniable love with endless urges to be together and earth shattering moments with instantaneous heart skipping at once glance at eachother across the room. I desired this so badly that I think I have mistakenly believed that we had it. I wanted it so badly that I sacrificed my standards, my self-worth and my confidence in order to believe we had exactly what I was looking for.

It makes me sad to realise this but I wanted to feel that breathtaking need for someone and to have that in return.

It’s funny because I now realise that this is never healthy, never a positive relationship to be so co-dependent.

Self worth, standards and desire to know ourselves will forever supersede such a relationship. How can we give all of ourselves fearlessly and vulnerably without knowing what we need, what we stand for and what we are worth?

Hopeless, unapologetic, volatile love is something that will always be accompanied by hurt. I cried a lot in that relationship. I was left, too often to note, always wanting more, wanting more words from him, more anger because that was the only way he would tell me exactly what he thought. I craved the drama because otherwise life was predictable, uneventful and lack lustre. Towards the end of our relationship I made poor choices, I played games, I hurt people and above all I have created moments that have haunted me. I didn’t know how to be who I wanted to be without trying to shock him. I felt the need to keep him on his toes, always guessing, never sure if we’d be together as we had always planned. I was as immature as the innocent girl he first met, but now filled with anger and confusion. None of my actions were calculated or planned; I simply and subconsciously invited opportunity that should not have been welcomed. He knew; that is the sad part. I think on an unconscious level, I knew what I was doing was hurting him as much as he had hurt me over the years by simply being him.

I knew he loved me, but I wanted him to love me in a way he didn’t know how. We discussed it endlessly but it was met with stubborn withholding and a feeling of frustration.

There were moments where I was blatantly treated poorly, deliberately left out while he danced with other girls and I sat there, desperately sad and wishing to escape. What disappoints me most about this is that I stayed, both in this moment and long term. I had not identified with my standards; my self-worth and my self-love were absent. I was so under confident and unsure of myself that I stayed in the situation in order to avoid rejection, to avoid losing someone who I thought loved me enough to make me feel bad. Bizarre I know, but he was sending me a message.

He was afraid that I would leave and he saw my potential before I did, so he kept me dulled, he kept me on a short string that would not allow me to flourish. He was afraid I would leave, he was afraid I would realise he couldn’t give me what I needed. This worked for a while, his standards were strong and they weren’t going to budge for anyone, including me. I knew this, he knew I knew this. And that was that. I would be his wife, I would take his name, we would have a big standard wedding (something I did not want but he said it was that or not at all), we would have children, I would not work and I would devote myself to the typical, old fashioned married life. I knew that if we married, we would get divorced. I knew it, one of those rare moments when you just know what course your life will take.

We came close to being engaged, I ended it just before this. Maybe I subconsciously knew this, maybe not. But we were due to go away on an overseas trip and when we broke up he said he was planning on proposing under the Eiffel Tower, romantic yes, but not me at all! It was that moment when I realised I had done the right thing because after 8 years he didn’t know me in the slightest. Maybe he was going to propose, maybe it was scare tactics to get me back, but I was free from this moment and it was amazing to finally identify my self-worth, my values, my relationship expectations and to break free from the monotony that was this relationship. I had one moment of ‘shit what have I done?!’, then it was gone as quickly as it came. I was free; opportunity seemed endless. Searching for love and attention elsewhere felt instantly obsolete. I felt self-love in a way that I had never felt before. I had served myself. I had loved myself more that my desire to love another, more than my need to be loved. This was my first step towards being the Brigid I always knew I could be.

One of my “mistakes” which turned out to be the best decision of my life was to make it known to Dave that I wanted to get to know him more; we worked together and my ex boyfriend already felt threatened by him. I knew I needed Dave in my life on some level, maybe not as quickly as it did happen, I probably needed to be alone for a while but after a few months Dave and I became closer and it was easy. It was more mature, it was free from rubbish, game playing, withholding of emotions and it was fearless. He has supported me in self-discovery and love from day one. He introduced me to the concept of investing in yourself in a positive way, he has pushed me to continue to dig deep within myself, meditate and find the woman I know I can be.

This is not something that can be given to you by anyone but yourself. This is SELF discovered, SELF love, SELF worth, defined by no one but your own SELF. I would’ve found this with or without Dave, the blessing is that I was lucky enough to have found true, real, passionate and deeply inundated love with the man who only wants better for me, always.
I am grateful for my first relationship, which taught me how to never give up on what I know to be true, that I am infact fabulous. I pushed it aside for the sake of another for so long, but it wouldn’t allow me to suppress it for long enough to not believe it. I knew I had more to give and that I deserved so much more FOR myself, FROM myself.

I want young women to learn to identify their values, both in relationships with others and with themselves. I want them to honour these ideals, to relate and ingrain their self-love so deeply within their soul that it cannot be ignored. I want them to stand up and not sit by watching the one they think they love treat them like rubbish by slowly manipulating them into believing they don’t deserve more. I want them to know they are worth the sun, the moon, the ocean and the mountains. We grow up believing in fairy tales, and although we don’t need to be saved by our prince, we can share our experience with our partners, friend, soul mate.

But we must first know what we bring to the table, and that comes from love found within.

B xx

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